My Journey to Self Healing


Hi!  And Happy New Year to you!  I’m Carrie, and I’ve been trying to manage all the effects of stress on my body after my divorce.  Mind you, it was not one of those knock-down drag-out “You’ll get nothing! Nothing I tell you!” kinds of divorces.  But still, it was the crumbling of combined dreams, a combined life, the loss of my best friend, the loss of my home, and the pure torture of returning to the corporate world for a decent salary.  (Yes I did just refer to corporate America as pure torture, and no I’m not being overdramatic.) Despite being a  30-something and generally healthy, it is just amazing how stress can ravage our bodies.


While I don’t have cancer or some other life-threatening disease, I’ve got all kinds of symptoms revealing the anguish inside.  And I want to fix these issues before they do turn into cancer or some other disease.  A list of some of my ailments: bleeding gums, eyelids so red and inflamed I’ve had to go extended periods without wearing my contacts to allow my eyes to heal, some unidentifiable skin condition that behaves a little like psoriasis but not psoriasis, constant and excessive peeling fingernails along with my big toe nails snapping right off at the quick every 6 weeks or so (very strange), flair-ups with acne, exhausting and gripping tension and pain in my shoulders and neck that won’t go away, and very poor immunity – I am constantly sick.   Maybe these don’t sound severe, but they are nagging, with the skin condition and constantly being sick at the forefront.  Especially when I do lots of yoga and eat really healthy ALL OF THE TIME.  How could I possibly ever get sick, right?

My goal – To heal myself.  I think just about everyone has something going on with their body.  And I’ll assume if you’re reading this, you might also be interested in healing yourself.  

Ah, now the bigger question: Why self-healing?  Why not just go to the Dr?  The answer: I already tried that.  What I learned: Doctors don’t know shit.  They have absolutely no idea what is going on with my body, why it’s happening, how to prevent it, or how to fix it.  A doctor’s basic prescription basically boils down to this:  Come back when it turns into cancer; then we’ll know how to treat it. 

Geez, I’m getting a little snippy here, aren’t I? You betcha!  Here’s a quick rundown of some key events:  My mother, an otherwise very healthy person, has occasional bouts of dizziness, pain, and an inability to get out of bed for days at a time, which has come and gone over the last few years.  Doctors have done all kinds of tests.  They have no idea what it is.  My dad has annual physicals including chest x-rays.  He went to the Doctor for pain in his side, and lo and behold, he has stage 4 lung cancer.  His doctor couldn’t see stage 4 lung cancer in his chest x-ray 6 months prior?  He couldn’t look at his gray nose and see he wasn’t getting proper oxygen to his body?  That’s a sorry state of affairs. I went to a dermatologist about my serious skin condition that would itch and then ooze and bleed.  (Pretty gross, eh?) When I would go for follow-ups because it hadn’t gotten better, they would never bother to even look at it, they would simply write a stronger (and ridiculously more expensive) steroid prescription on their little notepad.  I finally gave up and decided to figure it out on my own. So maybe reading all of this unconventional stuff isn’t for you, and that’s OK.  I’m just a regular person.  I wouldn’t call myself an expert in anything, but I’ve become very frustrated with our healthcare system.  I want to make myself well and  I am on a journey to try to make that happen. 

It seems we’re missing something vital in our society.  We get so caught up in the stress of our daily lives – Where is our connection to ourselves?  Where is our connection to each other?  The earth?  I believe food can be medicine.   I believe we can heal ourselves.  OK, so maybe I don’t really believe Doctors are worthless, but I do believe that Western medicine has some serious limitations.  Namely, it mostly attempts to treat disease.  It doesn’t do much to prevent or identify beginning stages when something is “off” within the body so that the person can remedy the problem before it develops further, as Eastern medicine does.

Ayurveda is the ancient system of holistic healing originating about 5000 years ago in India.  It means the science of life, as it encompasses the health of body, mind, and consciousness.  And in my next post, I will explain more about Ayurveda.

But first, have any of you felt frustration with the lack of preventative medicine, or had serious symptoms of illness and no doctor can tell you what it is?  Feel free to share your thoughts.


7 responses »

  1. Hi, Carrie! Sorry to hear about your divorce and the health issues. (Found your blog via FB- we know each other from SCBWI) We’ve had a similar journey with my daughters this year. I’ve written a bit about two of the girls in my blog. The daughter with horrible back pain… who saw at least 10 different doctors… turned out to be a dairy allergy! No dairy for over a month, and no pain. I learned a lot about doctors and their lack of knowledge through this experience. Hope you find some answers!

    • Hey Kim! I remember seeing something you posted about going dairy free with your daughter. Glad you found a solution! I don’t have a dairy allergy but I’ve mostly cut it from my diet and noticed less congestion and allergy issues. Oh, hey, and that’s a great theme you picked for Power of Run!

      • We are preparing to go wheat free with my other daughter. I have a feeling we will see her GI issues clear up. She takes about 15 pills a day at 12 years old!! We know it’s not Celiac, but I suspect we will see some improvement. My adventures in cooking have been very interesting as we try to balance the dietary needs of the family!! Looking forward to reading your blog! And yeah… thinking we both have good blog design taste 🙂

  2. Carrie, I think many of us have experienced similar frustrations with mysterious health issues and the imperfect health care industry. Our household (hubby and me) will be dedicating 2013 to improving our health. While we are decades older than you, we know we can still make major improvements in our health and habits. Best wishes to you in this new year!

  3. Ohhhh, Carrie. Yes, yes and yes! I injured myself in dance last March. I have since been experiencing a lot of pain. I dis not see a doctor right away. instead, I chose a holistic chiropractor and massage therapy. while it helps a bit, I finally, after months of bagging pain, went to a sports medicine doctor. He talked to me, had me do some things to test my hamstring muscles, but didn’t bother doing an MRI to seethe actual problem. Instead, he told me he ‘thinks’ it is just scar tissue built up and to continue what I am doing and cone back in two months if not better. Oh, and he prescribed a pain-relieving massage cream my insurance wants $1,000 + for. No joke! LOL. I went to my massage therapist today and she said she feels NO scar tissue in my leg at all. Hmm. I am going to demand an MRI now. I am irritated. I want to know what I did to my leg!

    Ok … sorry for the book. I’m typing this on my phone. Hope there aren’t too many typos! 😉


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